Dear friends ~
A couple years ago, we heard of this thing called 'women can pee standing up'. Yes, it's true; we thought that was pretty awesome, too. At that point all of our desires were encapsulated in the learning of this new thing, which we practiced with enthusiastic vigor--in the shower.
Fast forward to two years later and two weeks ago: we find ourselves at the Hawkins swimming hole, enjoying a lovely partially cloudy afternoon with good friends and good tea.
It occurred to Suj that she needed to pee, to which Amy replied, "Why don't you just pee off the cliff, standing up?" After a gentle reminder of our peeing days of yore and some cheeky smiles of encouragement, Suj stepped up to the plate...
Thirty-two. That's the approximate number of times we women-folk peed standing up that day: off cliffs, on the trailside, into the river, in the woods, you name it, we peed on it.
~ ~ ~
Simone de Beauvoir once said that women first observe a difference between the sexes by noticing that men pee standing up and women do not.
Contrary to popular belief, women can in fact pee easily standing up. And believe you, us. it's fun!
First, pull your pants down. Or take them off.
1.) Cock your hips forward
2.) Using either hand, make a V with your first and second fingers and spread the inside of your labia minora (inner lips) with it.
3.) Spread and lift your fingers a little, pulling up and out so the skin between your labia is pulled tight. This angles the opening of your urethra so you aren't peeing down your leg
4.) Pee with as much force as you can and try to stop the stream as suddenly as you can so that nothing gets on your clothes or your legs.
5.) It's a good idea to practice peeing in the shower. But it's never too early to venture outdoors!
There's no logical reason why women can't pee while standing. It's a feminist issue as far as we're concerned. Go for the 30 Degree arc! Go for the 10 meters. Have peeing competitions with your friends off cliffs, off porches, off roofs, and off sides.
Over and out,
Amy and Suj
You go girls! No forward thinking man is going to oppose you in this. I wish more of the girls I knew were skilful in this, then I wouldn't have to feel like a chauvinist every time I get caught short in the great outdoors.
ReplyDeleteCurrently I squat or hover for the sake of equality, but I also (for the same reason) force myself to wait until I'm almost experiencing kidney pain before letting go, unless I can find a proper toilet with provision for both sexes. It's difficult to uphold the ideals of equality as a weak-bladdered male.